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Looks like one of the other Kate’s would like to Skype

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ps – call me.

It’s been almost a year – both I and all the other Kate Doyle’s have had a very busy year though and I’ve been saving all the emails. I’m on maternity leave, so maybe I’ll post more? 

The following is one of my favourites and came earlier this month. Such panic! 

 

Subject: Emergency! 

There are bananas in my draw!!! They are gonna be in a bad way by now… Please remove them before the situation gets worse. Ps – call me.

 

Unsurprisingly, if you google “bad banana” a bunch of pervy bananas show up, so I’ll spare you all. 

 

Self improvement

It’s been a little while since I’ve updated (life, am I right?!)

This week I’ve received two different emails for two other Kate Doyle’s, oddly enough both stemming around body image. I suppose the timing is appropriate considering every muscle I have is currently protesting the workout I got from TreeGo yesterday.

The first is for teeth whitening:

HI Kate

Thanks for your email.
Not really recommending Zoom! by itself as the whitening does not last as long as Deep whitening or Kor whitening.
Deep whitening is a combination of home and laser whitening – the process is more involved but the results are amazing.
The cost is $1400. Not all teeth are suitable for this treatment.
Let me know if you would like a complimentary discussion to see if your teeth are suitable.
Kind regards
Adrian
Image

I’m pretty fond of my teeth and am not at all into this idea.

The second email is for another Kate D’s new gym membership. I won’t post the scans they sent because there is a fair amount of personal information (and have been deleted), but Kate from California has joined a 24/hr gym. I’ve got to say, her gym membership seems like it offers way more perks than my own, at half the price. Also, it turns out she signs her name the exact same way I do – which again, I won’t post because that would be weird. It’s very similar though. It also makes me feel like I should work out more. 24 hour gym? When would I fit in my naps?

A little story, my dad’s name is also fairly common. I remember going to the blockbuster (countdown to feeling old in 3..2..1…. remember when we had to go to the store to rent movies?!) and after we got home that we had been given the wrong card back. Someone with the exact same name was there at the exact same time. What are the odds? Probably pretty good, all things considered! Someone mentioned to me that I was possibly outing a Kate D or two, based on topics or parts of emails. I suppose that might be the case, except I’m of the mindset that the whole idea of the blog is that there are many people who all share the same name. For the most part in this blog, I take out the identifiers (although, sometimes something may not seem obvious to me – in which case, please let me know!), aside from city/country. I do this to keep things light – I, obviously, don’t want to be the cause of any weird feelings (especially with my namesake!), I just always found it interesting how many random emails I get and chose to document it. Thoughts?

subject: Kate

Hello

There is Greg from the office you supported.

How is it going? Do you celebrate The Independence Day? Have a good one.

Fourth of July thoughts and thanks as I celebrate Co Dependence Day with each of you

I edited out all the names, but it was sent to a whole bunch of people. My family didn’t really do the whole State of the Union thing at holidays, so letters like this always seem… weird to me.

 

Dear T, L, R, M, K, J, P, T, S, E(big), E(Little), M, A, S, A, O and E, and all the “Doyle Clan”

I have reflected on the last two years, the changes that have occurred and the time that each of you has taken to soften my initial disappointments at that time and the encouragement you provided in redefining my matrix. Your conversations, encouragement and prayers have allowed me to view my past affectionately, appreciate all I have been given (which is so much more than most), accept responsibility for my shortcomings (which are many) and create a rebirth that has been enlightening.  It is through my relationship with all of you, that I have the confidence that when road bumps present themselves, my compass for navigation will be better than the one I navigated on in the past. It is my hope that God will provide me a long life, in which I can reciprocate to each of you, the love, compassion and patience that you have extended to me.

Stephen Avette of the Avette Brothers, in their song “Murder in the City”, writes, “Always remember there was nothing worth sharing, like the love that let us share our name.” On this holiday, I am grateful that I call each of you family, that J and T decided to keep “trying to have children” after number seven, that they succeeded (by either design, chance or faith) in instilling pride and individuality in each of us, and fostered the unselfish philosophy of giving and dependence, without embarrassment for the latter. All of you have allowed me to cross over from disappointment to reaffirmation, from an initial response of victimization to cherishing the unique opportunities I have been given, and to embrace the my next 30 years with my children, family and friends.

On the spiritual front, certain of you have provided the map, encouragement and sponsorship for my reintroduction to God, the thanks that he deserves when things go right and the faith required in him when things are different from the script we wrote for ourselves. I thank those who have taught me, “that I am not good for others, until I am good for myself” and that the matrix upon which I valued certain things, required realignment. For all who kept me in their prayers and thoughts, I thank you, as so many have been answered.

To my children, I thank them for stepping up their game, providing their mother comfort in her difficult decision, providing their father reassurance in times of doubt, asking less for themselves, giving more to each other, and reaffirming the importance of family, even when the model of how we defined it, was reconfigured.

On this Independence Day, when as a Nation, we celebrate America’s independence; I thank each of you for my dependence on you, for the breadth of your shoulders, and the depth of your hearts. My prayer for this Independence weekend comes from Paul to the Colossians   “Get rid of anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language. Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. If anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in harmony.”

Love and thanks to you each for making this journey called life so pleasurable, reaffirming and rewarding. As Lou Gehrig said to the in his retirement at Yankee Stadium for Gehrig’s disease, “I am the luckiest man in the world”.  J ☺

Second Book Study Meeting

Our second book study meeting will be next Friday, 7:00-8:00pm at my house; doors open at 6:45.
Just walk in and make yourself at home.
We will continue reading Spiritual Awakenings, 1st Edition.
I think that S has a big catering event Saturday, 2/5; J is recuperating nicely from her hip replacement surgery, but I don’t think she is capable of leaving her house yet.
Please let me know if the rest of you, including C, are planning to be here.
I’m looking forward to it.
In love and service,

J’s surgery

This is an older e-mail:

Dear Sisters in Recovery:
I just wanted to let you know what has been happening with yours truely.  At Thanksgiving I started having severe mobility issues.  Long story short; went to *Hospital name*, took x-rays of my hip.  Seems I have degenerative hip disease.  Caused by either excess steroid use (pa-leez !) or excessive alcohol abuse. Ta-dah!!!!  Needless to say I am now on a walker and am scheduled for hip replacementsurgery Monday January 10th.  I will be out of work for about 6-8 weeks.
I won’t be able to make our bookstudy/pot luck nights untill April 1st (unless my doctor will let me drive my March 4th. I will keep all of you posted as to how my recovery is going via e-mail.
I hope all of you had a joyfull holiday and we all know that our Higher Power will be walking with us thru the next year.
Love
J

Orange Juice

 This is how your husband would like his orange juice served in future!!   I’m really sorry himself and Jack weren’t invited on Sunday…it was a total oversight on Mike’s part…please tell him I had nothing to do with it!

Phil x
 

In “weird timing” news, this morning I received the email from the previous post right after I had sent another letting them know that they had the wrong person again.

Just got this reply:

Dear Kate,

As per my previous email, we have today removed your email address from the client’s policy and from any further marketing material. Thanks for the Tweet also, in this instance you are the wrong Kate.

If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact our Customer Care Department on {phone number}. 

Kind regards,

Rebekah

 

I like to think that Rebekah was smiling a little when she replied (or, she thinks I’m a jerk). Also, kind of curious how she discovered the tweet, but that is a mystery for another day.

In “weird timi…

…so this email was not intended for you.

Dear Kate,

 

Thank you for your email.

 

We note that a customer input your email address when they did a quote online with ourselves. We are an insurer in the Republic of Ireland and do not offer insurance in Canada so this email was not intended for you. The customer has obviously entered the wrong email address for themselves. We will remove your email address from our records.

 

Kind regards,

 

Rebekah